Are You Notaninja?

You forgot one

When you are drunk, I will laugh at your ass as I help you rest your head on the toilet I just peed in.

Anyway, another good story.

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff’s deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Houston, Texas. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy’s expense.

The deputy says,” License and registration, please.”

“What for?” says the lawyer.

The deputy says, “You didn’t come to a complete stop at the stop sign.”

Then the lawyer says, “I slowed down, and no one was coming.”

“You still didn’t come to a complete stop, says the deputy. License and registration, please.”

The lawyer says, “What’s the difference?”

“The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that’s the law. License and registration…..please!” the Deputy says.

Lawyer says, “If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don’t give me the ticket.”

“That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir,” the deputy says.

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the piss out of the lawyer and says, “Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?”

None of that Sissy Crap

Are you tired of those sissy “friendship” poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card Just the stone cold truth of great friendship.

1. When you are sad — I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against The sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile — I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared — I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused — I will use little words.
7. When you are sick — Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want whatever you have.
8. When you fall — I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath…. I pledge it to the end. “Why?” you may ask; “because you are my friend”.

Friendship is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of 4.

One for Kevy, just because it’s been awhile.

To the tune of Push It by Salt N Pepa

Ah, Goof it
Ah, Goof it

Goof, baby, baby
Baby, baby
Goof, baby, baby
Baby, baby

Get up on his!
Ow! Baby!SupaGoof’s here!

(Now wait a minute, y’all
This dance ain’t for everybody
Only the related people
So all you mothers, get on out there on Goof
GOOF, I said!)

Yo, Kevbo’s mom is in here, and she’s in mass effect
She wants the Goof, babe
Chillin’ by day then at night working up a sweat
All you other mom’s, let’s go, show the guys that we know
How to become number one in the M I L F show
Now Goof it

Ah, Goof it – Goof it good
Ah, Goof it – Goof it real good
Ah, Goof it – Goof it good
Ah, Goof it – G-Goof it real good

Hey! Ow! (Shutup!)
Goofed em good!

Goof, baby, baby
Baby, baby
Goof, baby, baby
Baby, baby
Goof it good, G-Goof it real good

Ah, Goof it
Ah, Goof it

Yo, yo, yo, yo, Kevin’s mom
Yeah, she come in here, givin Goof a kiss
Better make it last or else others gonna get pissed
Don’t you should be on Goof pumpin’ hard like you said you would?
Now do it

Goof it good
Goof it real good
Goof it good
Goof it real good

Ah, Goof it

Get up on his!

Meghan, you really got me going
You got me so I don’t know what I’m doing

The battle has begun. Guitar Hero vs. Rock Band….and my thoughts on both.

Pros -

Guitar Hero – original game, has a following. Have seen it being used in contests in bars and at places like the Taste of MN fair. Has larger book of music – which with GH3 is downloadable to systems that support it. Much larger selection of guitar peripherals to select from if you want/need an extra guitar. Newest game, GH3, has features such guitar battles where you can thwart your opponent by sending them broken strings, tougher levels, etc… 4 games released in this series. Lower cost to get game. Available on Wii, 360, PS2 and PS3.

Rock Band – newest to the line of “Simulation Music”. Like GH has 2 guitars, but also moves into 4 person category by adding drums and singing. Since it’s new, it lacks the extra peripherals such as other guitars (will touch more on this in a moment), or drumsets. however, you can use other guitars made for GH as long as they are compatible with your console. Nice songlist for start. Downloadable songs may bring more to the game. Singer player mode allows you to progress one song at a time much like GH, where you play a song and move on after completing it. Customizing is nice, for character creation to personal clothing to custom tatoos and face paint. Doesn’t offer too much in on screen selection of other instruments, but possible future or downloadable stuff. The method of growing your bands is very similar to how it would be to get a band in real life started and growing. Available on PS3 and 360.

Cons –

Guitar Hero – Lack of other instruments. Is fine if you like the guitars, but having no other options = loss of some potential customers. Also – guitars are smaller, which leads to cramping of hands.

Rock Band – Building the band = lot’s of repitition in the song style. Switching members into and out of your band or modifying to change intruments are cumbersome. Guitar is not compatible with Guitar Hero games. Aftermarket peripherals don’t exist yet.

Summary:

So, after playing the two at length, I vote for Rock Band as winner of the battle. Perhaps GH4 will have the extra instruments added to it, but the variety offered with the drums and the singing bring much needed enjoyment for groups of friends right now. But it’s depth of longevity will run short as Rock Band picks up speed.

I mentioned in the last post that my car adapter wasn’t working correctly with the dock connector on my iPhone. Well, it turns out that my adapter was dieing, not that it didn’t work with the iPhone. I picked up a new one last night and all is good. Yay!

Yes, I bought one. I doubt that anyone that knows me is surprised by this. I’ve had it for a few weeks now and overall I’m happy with it. Like everyone, there are some software functions I’d like to see added, most notably a to-do list program. I’d also love to have a book reader, whether that be text files, PDF, or something else.

I was looking around for some information on a car adapter that can use the dock connector, but nothing so far. It will charge off my current adapter just fine, but the audio doesn’t work well at all. Unless you like high-pitched screeching noises in which case it’s perfect. So I modified the headphone plug on my cassette adapter to fit. Yes, that’s another problem with the iPhone. Standard headphone plugs won’t fit.

I did find an article saying that you can sync information and music files on separate machines. I’m happy to hear that as I keep my contacts and calendar on my PowerBook but use my Windows server for all my music. This way I don’t have to move the music onto the PB just to sync it! I ran it through this morning before work and all seems to have worked quite well. Now to clean up the files from my PB.

There is a website out there that is using one of my wallpapers stored on this server, as their web page background. I’m not sure why they didn’t just download it, put it on their own server, and use it as their web page background locally, but they didn’t.

This leads to quite an opportunity. What should I change the image to so their background image also changes? There are some obvious choices but I’m trying to come up with something unique. Any recommendations? Maybe Schrodinger’s LOLcat?

Saw this article on Fark. Worth sharing….

Basically, a british man has run around the world. Now, I’m not certain what qualifies as “world” but apparently guiness was there to place him in the book of records. The article lists places such as China, London, Mexico, Panama (which is not to far from Mexico) and Tibet.

So how’d he get across the Atlantic?

Or better yet, what about Australia, Anartica.

When asked why he ran, he simply replied “I heard the German’s were coming.”

Just kidding, he’s not French.

Honestly, it’s nice to see a psychology major put his degree to the test. Now when he’s sitting with a patient, he can simply say…

“Quit your whining, why don’t you do something with your life, like go jogging”

“When’s the last time you ran doc?”

“I ran around the freakin’ world!”

((We need more blatent honesty around here. Anyone want to come with to visit my brother in law…..))

Whose going to not be inspired to change their life with a doc that can claim that? ((probably lots, but that’s where he’ll make money.))

Only one person I can see tops this accomplishment. He rides a bike and beat cancer.

Kudos sir. I salute you.

Supagoof out.

More and more, airports are restricting power use for travelers. And as more people are traveling with devices that require power the demand for outlets is on the way up. There is a vendor being used here at the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport that will grant you access to power at the cost of $3 for 30 minutes, which is just outright ridiculous.

I’m a bit torn on this one. I can understand why the airports feel the need to charge for the use of outlets. I can only imagine how much a constant flow of travelers jacking in to the outlets must run them, but at the same time I look at the cost of airfare and doubt that the extra cost is hurting them too much.

How about a compromise? Most travelers, especially business travelers, know if they have a device that is likely to need a power boost somewhere along the way. Why not offer a discounted price at the time of ticket purchase? I would think a buck or two up front for the entire length of the trip is a low enough cost that people wouldn’t think much about paying it, yet should easily cover any costs to the airport. And at the same time airports that choose not to charge extra can advertise that fact and more people may be likely to plan their trips through said airport. What a great way to let the market decide.

But, of course, that is unlikely to happen. Maybe it’s time to start a website for people to report who is charging for power and who is not. Probably piggyback it with who has open WiFi as well.

And charge a subscription fee for the site.

My younger brother B sent this to me, and now I present this too you.

Andy Rooney made the following comments on 60 minutes a few weeks back.

Error: Found out on Snoopes that Andy Rooney did not make all the below comments. Doesn’t mean I don’t find them amusing. Enjoy

I don’t think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the UnitedCaucasianCollege Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens…Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

I have the right “NOT” to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.

I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn’t die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can’t understand the word “freeze” or “stop” in English, see the above lines.

I don’t think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

I don’t hate the rich I don’t pity the poor.

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn’t stop you from watching them.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that’s better, and put your name on the building.

It doesn’t take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say “NO!”

The answer to all our problems is not more medication.

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don’t pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don’t want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

I am sick of “Political Correctness.” I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be “African-Americans”? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don’t go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else

And if you don’t like my point of view, tough…

It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having “In God We Trust” on our money and having “God” in the Pledge of Allegiance. Why don’t we just tell the 14% to Shut Up and BE QUIET!!!

I believe that John Stewart would be an excellent president, not because he’s popular, but because he takes the steps back to look at the process before making a decision about it, instead of straight-ahead-until-I’m-right-or-my-term-is-up.